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Monday, January 27, 2014

How dreams about your partner can spell trouble ahead

Dreaming about having an argument with your partner or that they cheated on you leads to more arguments the next day

For anyone who has woken in the morning to find themselves on the receiving end of their partner’s wrath, there now appears to be a scientific explanation.
It seems your other half may have dreamt about having an argument with you or even imagined that you were unfaithful to them during their sleep. http://commentsauvervotrecouple.fr/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/r%C3%A9cuperer-son-ex-1.jpg
Psychologists have now confirmed that these dreams can lead to more rows and reduced intimacy between couples the following day.
This is because the emotions experienced in such dreams can be carried into the daytime and consequently impact on a couple’s real relationship.
It is the first scientific example of how dreams can directly affect human behaviour during the day.
The findings may also help to explain why dreams can sometimes appear to be premonitions of events that will happen in the future.
Some couples even find themselves interpreting a bad dream about their partner as a “sign” that the relationship is not going to work out.
However, rather than being a form of supernatural clairvoyance, it seems such dreams are simply making rows more likely to happen.
Dr Dylan Selterman, a psychologist at the University of Maryland who led the research, said: “The analyses I ran for this sample suggest that there is a small but significant association between arguments in dreams and conflicts the next day.
“Dreams feel very real and that’s because neurologically, your brain can’t tell the difference between dreaming experiences and waking experiences until after we wake up.
“So in a way, according to the brain, those things actually did happen.
“Your brain processes it the same way, it’s only after we wake up that we draw a somewhat arbitrary distinction between waking and dreaming experiences.”
Dr Selterman decided to study the phenomenon after experiencing the impact that dreams could have on a relationship for himself.
He said that his girlfriend while at college would dream about him betraying her and then be angry with him about it when she woke.
In his study, which is published in the journal of Social Psychological and Personality Science, Dr Selterman studied 61 couples in committed relationships over a two-week period.
Each morning they were asked to fill in dream diaries and then in the evening record what they had done during the day, including their relations with their partners.
He found that those who dreamed of arguments with their partner or jealous feelings had more rows the following day, together with less intimate feelings.
Dr Selterman said that there was only a low association in the other direction with people dreaming about arguments after having real ones during the previous day.
He said that positive dreams about a partner also seemed to impact on couple’s relationships, with those that dreamed about sex with a partner tended to feel more intimate the next day.
However, this was not universal as it was only those in committed “interdependent” relationships. Those who did not have this mutual dependence suffered lower feelings of love and intimacy the next day if they had intimate dreams about their partner.
Dr Selterman said that he now hoped to conduct further research to unravel the role that dreams can play in relationships and perhaps find ways of helping those that repeatedly have bad dreams about their partner.
He said: In my studies on dreams I’ve found that more insecurely-attached people tend to have more frequent dreams about their partners behaving badly, and they tend to feel more negative emotion in those dreams.
“But on an implicit level, even if people don’t remember or think about their dreams they may be influenced by them.
“On an explicit level, ruminating on dreams could add onto or magnify an existing effect, thereby creating a “motivated interpretation” effect of dreams on waking behaviour.”

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